Hello my beauties,
So, right now it's 3:07 am and I had a binge 30 minutes ago consisting of a LOT of PB but anyway I wanted to let you all know on my improvements. Remember back in December,where I was binging every night?...Well I can share with you that right now I binge maybe once or twice a week. I cannot explain how much better that makes me feel. Like many of you, I don't want to binge, in fact I wish I was never hungry or felt cravings (dream world right?) But, this is the real world and I need to fight this evil in order to be happy.
You know what frustrates me about this binge? The fact that I really didn't want to binge. I woke up at 10 am today as I had no lectures/seminars and so by 2am I was still not tired, I haven't eaten since 18:49 pm and I was feeling slightly hungry but I just wanted to sleep as I have to be up early tomorrow. But as I lay in bed I couldn't fall asleep and started to think about food...next thing I know I'm in the kitchen eating my flatmates PB and a lot of other evils of the world. Anyway, I'm not even sad anymore, I'm just frustrated and fed up,because if I was able to sleep I wouldn't have gone to the kitchen and binged.
I saw a counselor before Christmas break and he decided that it was best to refer me to a hospital for treatment. I managed to call them yesterday to attempt to make an appointment, but apparently it takes about 2 weeks until I will get an appointment. I don't understand this, I NEED help right now, not in 2 weeks, NOW!! I have been trying to deal with this by myself for a year now and I finally try to get help and it has to take this long. Anyway, I hope that I will get an appointment soon as I would like to start the treatment as soon as possible.
Have you guys had any progress in your ED? How are you all doing?
-I encourage you all do get some help if you are dealing with an ED, I know that it will help to have someone to help you deal with your issues. Good Luck xoxo
